For all of you Jersey Shore watchers, perhaps you can understand what I am going through. Season 3 of JS has been amazing, what with a fight on the first night, a shameless, naked, hilarious Deena, failed attempts at sex with hideous looking creatures not completely passable as human beings, and so many other things that keep us tuning in every week and making us feel better than we've ever felt about our lives, sex partners, drinking habits, vocabulary, and skin tone.
But just like a lot of shows, there is that one story line/character that you can't help but simply want to fast forward through. For me, that, my friends, is Sammi Sweetheart. She is annoying. She is a bitch. She is a mess. And will someone else agree with me that her slow, slurred speech and odd facial features predict some sort of mental disability? To show off "the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet"'s disgusting personality and insulting intelligence some more, I give you my favorite least favorite quotes by the dumb dumb herself.
Sammi: Yes, I had sex, like hello, you're gonna have sex if you're into somebody.
Sammi: I definitely want to look good for Ronnie's parents, because it's the first time they're meeting me. Like, I want them to think like wow, that's her, she's really pretty, and whatever.
Sammi: Good job, you cooked food for everyone. Have I ever asked you to cook me food? No. Do you do it? Yeah.
Sammi: No man will ever touch me ever twice like that.
Sammi: Look me in the face, and all the skeletons, lay it out right now, because I know.
Ronnie: What do you know?
Sammi: Everything
Ronnie: What is (bleeping) everything? What do you know?
Sammi: Tell me right now. Tell me.
Ronnie: Tell me what you know. I'm not (bleeping) doing this with you.
Sammi: Tell me.
Mike: I'd like to give a trophy to who did the least in this house. Let's vote right now.
Sammi: I don't give a f**k.
You know what Sammi. We don't give a f**k either. Not about you. Not about your problems with your boyfriend. None of it.
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